Monday, January 4, 2010

Why this blog?

Despite my love hate relationship with New Year's resolutions, I decided to make one. Living with no regrets. It's that simple. It's always been on my heart, but today, as I was on the eliptical machine (where I get many of my enlightening ideas), I decided to make it official. What would happen if I consciously thought how I would feel about each decision I make as if I were an 80-year-old woman looking back? Will this decision make my life more or less meaningful in the long run? What am I afraid of? What keeps me from being my true self, or living life to its true abundance? These are questions that I ask myself now, but I am charging myself to never let these questions slip by because it is easier to believe in the moment that NCIS is more important to my life experience. What is that?

Living without regret is such old news I can't believe I am actually blogging on the subject; but I am tired of hearing the regrets of the 60, 70 or 80 year-old, then thinking to myself, "so true- I'll keep that in mind in my life" and then forget a day later. OK, my life isn't boring or meaningless, but I am sure I am missing out on many opportunities to add beauty, meaning, and love to my life because of the distractions and monotony in each day. It's as if there are a few momentous, fabulous, knock-me-out moments that are strung together by many days of ordinary.

Does each day have to be a special occasion? No! It's in the small moments even more than the big ones. It's spending time with my kids and impressing in my memory their warmth and smiles- it's kissing Jeremy goodbye and really taking that moment to say "I love you" and it not being something to check off of a list. I want my attitude to say, 'I am really present in this moment with you." I have this fleating chance to be everything I was created for, and I could easily waste it on TV, laziness, or dreaming too much of the future and missing out on what is in front of me.

I remember in college a friend asked me to play at an open mic at this great place in Indianapolis called The Music Mill. My heart was POUNDING, and I didn't think I could do it. This is coming from someone who has performed many times. But not MY music. Not something so close to me that I was terrified of being judged. That was one of those moments where I thought, "If I miss this opportunity, will I regret it when I am 80?" I knew the answer was yes; so, I did it! I played 5 original songs with just my voice and a keyboard, and it was a stand-out moment for me in my life- and not just because people actually liked it! I could have easily missed that opportunity, but I chose to put aside fears of what others thought of me and fulfilled a dream.

So, this year, and hopefully for the rest of my life, I will take the charge to live in the best way I know how so that I can look back at my life with a deep smile from within instead of a sigh. I would love to hear your story, and I hope mine inspires you to find your best life!

1 comment:

  1. Well said...and something we all should think about seriously. What a different place this world would be if we actually acted like we say we believe.