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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Me, Happier: Part 2 (parenting changes)

So, my last blog randomly became about forgiveness when originally I hadn't intended to write on the topic. Today I thought I would continue sharing the reasons that my stress and frustration levels have gone down so much. The theme today is: parenting changes.

Parenitng. The joys. The absolute joys. Truly. This is not sarcasm. I have never meant that phrase sarcasticly, but my frustration level several months ago was high, and I had no sense of what to do to solve the problems for my child. These "problems" included everything from not listening to my directions and agressiveness towards other children. I remember sobbing by 10:00 in the morning because nothing was going right!

So, after reading piles of literature on parenting, I realized why a lot of my trial and error was more error than anything else. OK, I'll admit, I can talk an ear off an elephant, and I suppose this encouraged a few lectures. Lectures to a two year old. How ridiculous! I really thought that my insight would sink in, but in reality it would backfire and he would yell something like, "I will never do lojsdflkjksdnfalkndfkldfa (two year old banter)!" Funny now. Not so much in the moment.

So, what I have realized is parenting is much more about my self discipline than my child. They need a guide to teach them what behavior is acceptable, and what isn't. I have learned to love 'mis'behavior, because I have the opportunity to teach them what is right and wrong while the cost is so low. Many parents get in the way with their own agenda, and make their child pay the high price for unacceptable behavior when they're grown up.

I would love to share some of the parenting strategy specifics, but there is SO much rich information, and it all flows so beautifully together. I would highly recommend sprinting to the bookstore or amazon.com and buying "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Dr. Becky Baily, and "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood" by Dr. Jim and Charles Fay. They have monumentally changed my life forever.

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